


Pictures of Painted Glass

by Aondeug



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: C-PTSD, Gen, Poetry, explorations of faith, religious trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22169545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aondeug/pseuds/Aondeug
Summary: Relationships with faith are difficult at the best of times, and Edelgard has not had the best of times with faith. They are also complex and ever shifting. An exploration of the Adrestian Emperor's relationship with faith through betrayal, fear, reconciliation and more.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	1. Unanswered Prayers

I asked you once, then twice.  
I asked you three, four, five times.  
I asked six, seven, eight, nine, ten.  
I asked each and every time,  
And never once did help arrive.

You are all loving, all merciful.  
You come to us when we need.  
You conquer all foes with ease.  
You watch over us all,  
But help never once came.

Were my cries meaningless?  
Were my pains unworthy?  
Was I damned from the start?  
If so then what is the point?

I did exactly as taught.  
“You need only ask it of Her,”  
So I asked and I asked and I asked  
But help never came, not once.  
If anything your name signed off on it.

Ten dead and one burnt all for a Crest  
And what is that even worth?  
Ten siblings, me, and countless others.  
Where is the justice in that?  
You had ten elites and four saints.  
You had a manifestation through Seiros!  
And you can’t even save one child?  
You can’t listen to even one prayer?  
What are you even worth?

I’m beginning to think the answer is nothing.  
Nothing at all. 


	2. Stupid Little Words

Fools, all of them,  
Lined up nice and neat  
In rows upon rows  
With their hands clasped together  
In silent prayer.

You watch them and look  
Seeing the child you were,  
Her own hands together  
In that damp, dark cell  
Giving prayer after prayer.

How many did you give?  
 **Too many.**

How many were answered?  
 **None.**

You watch them there,  
Lined up nice and neat  
Begging and pleading  
For gifts that will never come  
Unless they stand up straight  
And take them with their own hands.

And none of them will  
Because why would they  
When it’s easier to ask  
And to beg and to hope  
For someone else to come,  
Far stronger than you,  
To take it out of your hands  
And answer it all and more.

It’s easy to do  
When you don’t know  
Just how deep things can go.  
It’s easy to do  
When you’ve not yet learned  
That no one is coming.

Not for you.  
Not for them.  
Not for anyone.

There is only you.  
There are only your hands.  
 **There. Is. Only. You.**

And so you watch  
And so you hate,  
Because how can anyone be so stupid as to pray?  
  
But you know that answer,  
Don’t you.


	3. Hope's Bitter Irony

They took her from you.  
One moment she was there,  
Proud and angry,  
A sword in hand  
Full of fury, rage,  
Ready to take down those  
Who took her father,  
And in the next moment?

She was gone, gone,  
Swallowed by the dark  
And the wailing of a woman  
You can’t call human.

They took her from you,  
As they had so many others.  
Ten lives in whole  
And now an eleventh to join.  
They had taken her from you,  
But in the next moment  
The sky tore open  
And out the dark she fell,  
Glowing sword in hand  
And the hair of a god  
Looking a saint born anew.

She had given her back  
After taking so many,  
From you and countless more.  
This life she gave back  
Wielding a magic sword  
And a god’s might made man.  
When your hope had died,  
Ready to mourn yet more   
She gave her back to you.

At her side, with her,  
You took life after life  
Which had hurt her so,  
And hurt you the more.  
Together, the two of you,  
There were none to rise up  
In a challenge of you,  
Till the godstrain took her  
Into a deep, deep sleep  
From which she would not rouse.  
But even as she slept  
All you could think   
Was how she was back again,  
At your side again, at last,  
Your teacher always, beloved.

  
Hope returned with her  
Until the night after  
When all was said and done  
As it hit you then.

 _She_ had given her back  
And she was _hers_.


	4. Finding Faith

You look down  
And see your hands  
Folded together  
In prayer.

Four days have gone  
And still  
She is missing,  
Without trace.

You look down  
And see yourself  
Twelve years old,  
Full of faith.

Five years have gone  
But still  
You clasp your hands  
And hope beyond hope.

So you set out  
Back to the pile  
Pulling at rubble  
Hour after hour  
Till your arms ache  
And refuse   
To but fold together.

It’s been so long,  
But old habits die hard  
And they birthed new ones,  
So even as you run  
You find it there  
Staring you in the face:  
Faith.

Faith that she lives,  
Though no one’s seen her.  
Faith she didn’t die,  
Though the ceiling crushed her.  
Faith you’ll find her,  
Though you’ve no basis.

It’s been so long,  
And old habits die hard  
But your heart revolts  
At your hands clasped  
Right together now because  
You said it was done,  
You said it was dead:  
Faith.

They called her Enlightened,  
The faithful.  
They looked to her in awe,  
The faithful.  
They called out in joy,  
The faithful.

And you mocked them,  
Though you knew  
Just what it meant.  
And you steeled yourself  
For what it meant  
Because you knew.  
And yet she stood   
Against the tide  
Of all that you knew.

So how could you not  
Fold your hands together,  
And how you could not  
Hope against all hope  
With all your heart  
For the first time in years  
Though it revolted?


End file.
